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Divorce mediation in California: how it works

Evenpart · October 30, 2026 · 4 min read

Divorce mediation is a voluntary process in which a neutral mediator helps both spouses reach agreements on property, debts, support and parenting. It is different from the child custody mediation that California courts require when custody or visitation is contested. What is said in mediation is generally confidential under Evidence Code section 1119. A mediator stays neutral and cannot give either spouse legal advice, so many people consult their own attorney along the way. An agreement reached in mediation becomes binding as a court order once it is written up and entered as part of the judgment.

Two different kinds of mediation

Private divorce mediation is something spouses choose. They hire a mediator, often an attorney or a mental health professional with mediation training, and work through all the issues in the divorce: dividing community property and debts, child support, spousal support, and a parenting plan. The spouses decide how many sessions to have and whether to continue.

Court-connected child custody mediation is different. When parents disagree about custody or visitation and ask the court to decide, Family Code section 3170 requires them to meet with a mediator or recommending counselor from the court's family court services before the hearing. That process covers only custody and parenting time, not money or property. In some counties, the counselor can make a recommendation to the judge if the parents do not agree.

What stays confidential

Evidence Code section 1119 generally makes what is said and written for the purpose of, or during, a mediation confidential. Those communications generally cannot be used as evidence or obtained through discovery in a later court case. This allows spouses to discuss options openly. There are exceptions, and a signed written settlement can be used if it meets the requirements of the Evidence Code, for example when it says it is enforceable or binding.

Court custody mediation follows its own confidentiality rules, which depend on whether your county uses confidential mediation or recommending counseling. Ask family court services how information from the session may be shared with the judge.

What a mediator can and cannot do

A mediator is neutral. Even when the mediator is a licensed attorney, they do not represent either spouse and cannot advise one spouse about what is best for that spouse. A mediator can explain the process, share general legal information, help organize financial information, and help the spouses generate and test options.

Because of that limit, many people meet with an independent family-law attorney licensed in California as a consulting attorney. A consulting attorney can explain your rights, review proposals between sessions, and review the final agreement before you sign it.

Mediation tends to work best when both spouses can share information honestly and negotiate safely.
It may not be appropriate where there is domestic violence, coercion or hidden assets, unless strong safeguards are in place.
Mediation does not replace the required financial disclosures; both spouses still exchange preliminary and final disclosures.

Turning an agreement into a judgment

A mediated agreement is usually written as a marital settlement agreement. One spouse must still have filed a Petition, the other spouse must have been served or have appeared, and the required disclosures must be completed. The agreement is then submitted with the judgment paperwork, and once the judge signs and the clerk enters the judgment, the terms become court orders that can be enforced. Until then, check with an attorney about how binding a draft or signed agreement is.

Your next steps

Decide whether you want private mediation for the whole divorce, and understand that court custody mediation may still be required if you ask a judge to decide parenting issues.
Complete and exchange financial disclosures before finalizing any property or support terms.
Consider a consulting attorney to review proposals and the final agreement before you sign.
Make sure the final agreement is filed with the judgment paperwork so it becomes an enforceable court order.

Sources and legal basis

General information about California law as of October 30, 2026, not legal advice. Your facts and later changes in the law can change the answer. Evenpart is not a law firm. Contacting us does not stop or extend any deadline.